Smudge: Kint we all jus' getalong?

[chuxton]

It ‘as come to my attention thet the Queen in ‘er royal wisdom (long may it wave) ‘as issued some sorta procty-mation thet I am now oh-fishially “The Admirable Smudge.” Now, in all due (or undue as the case mite be) respect, thet is not the kinda see-vility we should be able to expect from our unee-lected leadership.
In the first place, I don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout boats, whutsover. I ‘ave been knowed to get seasick fishin’ off the bridge inter the Queen’s moat.
I unnerstan’ that the term is also supposed ta indy-kate thet I am a fine feller and kin serve as a roll mottle fer younger folk. There is abso-lootly no call fer thet kinda name callin’. ‘Ow did I come to deserve such insult? Wal, I am tol’ thet I got it fer killin’ a bunch of folk like liches an' troll lords so thet I could take their stuff frum their corpses. This is a strange standard fer performance, even fer a feller like me.
“But those folks were BAD,” says me gud friend ‘Omer, “So killin’ ‘em makes you GUD.” Wal, I surely aint no ex-pert on “bad” an’ “good,” so mebbe thet is true. I DO know them folks I kilt wanted real “bad” to keep their stuff and not get kilt.
Jus’ the same, I’d take it kindly if’n you ree-frain from calling me “admirable.” If’n ya wanna give me a navy rank, jus’ call me “mate”, okay?

[chuxton]

Well, much as it makes me feel all icky to say it, I have to agree with Mr. Smudge that the entire so-called "virtue" system is unfair and out-of-date and needs serious reform. I mean, it is sooo-oo-oo two dimensional, you know? I mean, if you are a goody-goody and only follow the rules and kill all of the right species, you get a title like "Miss All Britannia Bleeding Heart Dooright" and everybody says "OMG! Isn't she just the GOODest ev-ver!" And if you certain magic spells or have a hunting accident or three, you get called "Horrible Awful Stinky-poo" and everybody says "OMG! Isn't he the most deliciously dispicable desperado!" And you still like get invited on The View and get to dance with the stars and stuff because you are still like... OUT there, you know? And this virtue thing is the whole deal for profs here in Britannia. Seniority won't get you cinnamon on your decaf mocha latte leche. So if you do BOTH bad and good, that should be like, TWICE as special, right? I mean suppose you are like a alchemy genius geek and like you don't have TIME to keep track of the rules, so sometimes you break them and sometimes you, like forget and follow them a little. Then you get stuck with a borrrrrring old invisible title like "wimp" or "milktoast" or OMGshootmefirst "Honorable."
And don't think that it is only the person with the invisible title that suffers. NO SUCH. Think of the families of and friends of those with titles like "honorable" or "commendable" or "somewhat lacking in social skills." Think of the hard-working summer intern looking to beef up the old resume because she expects to graduate during a recession. At MIN there should be like a third set of titles that ADD TOGETHER your good virtue and your bad virtue and celebrate your ability to avoid moral commitment. The title could like start with "Cable Journalist" and work up to "Congressman" or something.

If we can't have fair title for people then we should just have some untitlement reform.

Tiffany

[michella]

Priceless! OMG!

[Jakeman]

Some of us work hard to receive our titles from the Queen... the good titles and the bad ones. Many a Bone knight, vampire and daemons have fallen in the name of my title. And the day the Queen grants me the title of Glorious Lord I will help other people join the ranks of the Order Guard and fight along side them to help them earn their land and title. But even when i reach the top and i have killed all that needs to be killed i will still wait for the call of help and rescue those who find themselves in a tough spot, regardless of their title, or lack of one.

[chuxton]

Wal, now, (insert current title here) Jakeman, ya kinda make my pint, as it were. Those as works 'ard fer their titles from 'er royalosity and stay true to yer moral standards are re-warded wid lofty titles and naval ranks. Those of us as likes to whack trolls on ther noggin because we likes the sound it makes gits ther selfsame titles. If'n thets okay by you, I guess they kin say my Rear is Admirable.

The Admiralable Smudge